* When Karma finally hits you in the face, I hope to be there just in case it needs some help.
* I knew just how legit my psychic was when she let me write a check...
* You can present all the material you want, but you can't make me care.
* If at first you don’t succeed, stop and reload.
* I don’t have an attitude… I have a personality you can’t handle.
* I’m really not as bad as people say… I’m actually much, much worse.
* I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
* Just so you know, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
* I’m not insane; I just do what the voices tell me.
* I plan to fight the battle against procrastination... starting tomorrow.
* Whatever you are… be a good one.
* You are more than the mistakes you have made.
* Today, I will live in the moment. (Unless its unpleasant in which case I will eat a cookie).
* Do you ever get the feeling that you're being watched? Because if it's bothering you, I'll stop.
* It’s all fun and games until someone loses their sanity.
* I could tell you the first rule of Spite Club, but I won’t.
* OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) has been saying I never take her anywhere expensive. So last night I took her out to the gas station.
* When all else fails, I just admit OWN (‘Ol Weird Nancy) was right.
* Spontaneous combustion is the leading cause of death of self-starters.
* “I've learned that people will forget what you said and what you did, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” Maya Angelou