Take for example, today... I had to go to the regional Social Security office which is about a 30 mile drive each way. If you're ever feeling down on yourself, go to a social welfare office and just look at those gathered there. You'll start to feel better about yourself pretty darn quick.
So I'm sitting there, minding my OWN business as always, when a gentleman of Hispanic decent comes in carrying a baby in a carrier and followed by a toddler. He sits down two rows in front of me and put the baby carrier in a seat beside him. The little toddler climbs up in the other seat. He then proceeds to take out a child of about one year from the carrier.
During all this, the mother had stopped at the front door to sign in. So mom then saunters over to dad and the kids.
Now mom is evidently a native of the local variety. Many times you can just look at the plumage of a species and narrow the area from whence they came. This was one of those cases. She would have been a prime... PRIME... candidate for the "People of Wal*Mart" web site.
It's hard to decide on exactly where to begin with the description. So with that said, I'll just pick areas at random and go from there. But don't worry... I'm saving the best for last.
First off, she had wavy, curly, type hair down to about her shoulders. In most spots. And at the very top of her head, she had gathered some of it into a... bunch, for lack of a better word, and wrapped a rubber band around it. Not that the rubber band was easy to see, since there was so much OTHER stuff to assault your vision. And the rest of her hair looked like it had last been brushed about NEVER. But I digress... so let me move on.
I like when folks know they are going out in public and take a little time to ensure that they and what they have on are presentable. This lady did not subscribe to that same train of thought. I felt she was of the mindset of... this is close, so I'll put it on. It appeared that clean pile/dirty pile, fit/doesn't fit, none of that seemed to matter. Especially with the yellow sweat pants she had chosen.
A better yard sale find would be hard to imagine. It's like when you're out at the yard sale, and you see the most hideous item you can find and buy it JUST to make the seller happy. They will remember you. Maybe not fondly, but they WILL remember you. That was these yellow sweat pants.
Sometimes, especially after the holidays, it is quite common to put on a few extra pounds. And it isn't UNcommon, during these rare occasions, to check the amount of stress that some of your clothes can take at the seams. THIS was not one of those occasions. I would be surprised if these yellow sweatpants had been intended for someone over 12 years old. And maybe 100 pounds. This lady was just a TAD bit past both. But that didn't stop her from squeezing herself into them. Or most of herself. Or SOME of herself. Well... part of her was in them. But again, I digress... there was more.
Have you ever had an old t-shirt that you just couldn't bear to part with? It's ratty... the neck is all stretched out... maybe a hole under the arm... and 18 sizes TOO big? You know the one. You drag it out to just lounge around in because it's so comfortable... but you would NEVER dream of wearing it out? Yeah... that shirt. Well this lady had a different dream. Thinking back now, I might consider it a nightmare.
As big as she was... the shirt was bigger. WAY bigger. And I didn't know you could actually have a shirt made without cloth. Because while there probably had been cloth and thread at some point in the life of this shirt, if there were any left in it, I would be surprised. And I didn't see any. And I hate to admit it, but it was like a train wreck. I just couldn't bring myself to look away. My eyes actually hurt. I think there were tears...
But the CROWNING glory has yet to be revealed. At least to you. Because it WAS revealed to everyone in the waiting area. Needless to say in her apparent haste to get out of the house, one important... and I mean VERY important... article had been overlooked.
Staring all of us in the face... painfully, I might add... were "the girls." Now I realize that many parts of your body are "similar," but not the "same." Your ears are a prime example. Usually, one is a smidgen larger that then other. And the same with your feet. But I don't think smidgen would be the right adjective for this situation. I think one of "the girls" reached to an area approximately near where her belly button would be. I say "I think," because I didn't want to force myself to look. Too much. And the other one was tucked into the top of the yellow sweat pants. Again... I think.
Had there been an emergency, the ONLY way she could have run for cover would have been to tuck one up under each arm. People do not take the time to stop and think about what might happen in a crisis. Where are the exits... how many folks will I have to beat out that door... how do I make it to safety without "the girls", literally, beating the crap out of me... because they are flopping all over the place? Well, ONE of them is flapping. The other is safely tucked in the top of my yellow sweatpants that are eight sizes too small.
Do people have no more shame than to go out dressed in that fashion? Do they have no concern for their fellow man? Do they not care about my grocery bill? Cause I pert-near-bout tossed the groceries. And my sight. What about my sight? I nearly wished blindness on myself.
Luckily, they were called in fairly quickly. That saved me from collecting all the "you are next" numbers from everyone that was waiting and making SURE "they were next."
And as I left, all I could want was for that family to be approved for whatever they were seeking. Because I hope they get enough to buy her a bra.